I'm a huge fan of dowry. It's a brilliant concept. It's like any other form of personal loan if you ask me. Only the EMIs never end and the interest rates are ruthless. There's no early settlement. If you try, it comes with a huge penalty. It’s called alimony.
So I proceeded to get married anyway. Knowing fully well, the dangers involved. Now I'm the man Friday of my house - all 7 days of the week. So once my wife asks me to stop at the grocery on my way home and pick up some stuff. And I do. EMI.
The next morning I'm chilling at home, it's a Saturday. She asks me to go buy some more stuff. Now I'd like to point out, that these two things aren't so far removed as categories go. So this morning you're asking me to buy oil while the some stuff last night was fucking ghee. How hard is it to know that you need oil as well as ghee? It's not like eggs and detergent. No, it's oil and ghee they hang out together all the time. But I have to go again and pick up oil. Floating rate of interest.
It so happened, the day was karva chauth and my wife was fasting, so there's no saying no. In fact I think that's the real reason Hindu women fast so much. When a Hindu woman fasts, she doesn't just fast alone she takes the neighbourhood down with her. It's how they get their way. Fast once a week and make sure everyone listens to you.
Please don't leave the newspaper on the bed. I'm fasting. There's a sale on at Zara. I'm fasting. They never have my size. I’m fasting. Take me to Paris. I'm fasting. Now you're thinking where's the logic in that. No no no no no, but for a married woman it all makes sense.
There's a Zara ad in the paper and I'm fasting, wait it's a sale. But by the time I get there they won't have my size. And now with this fasting I'm in shape and he doesn't even appreciate it. I don't deserve high street, I should be shopping in Paris.
Take me to Paris, I'm fasting.
True story.
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